The Power of Acceptance ( as posted in Sybil Magazine – May 2019)
“Just accept it”! These are words that have echoed in my ears.
I can remember in my childhood years, not understanding why some of my older siblings would be so bossy, so instructional and on occasions really quite hurtful and nasty. The more it happened the more I wanted to hide within myself. Assuming that it must be me and that it must be something that I was or was not doing. My mother used to tell me to ignore it and that it was just the way that they were, just accept it and don’t react.
I didn’t believe a word of that and so for me “accepting it” really meant don’t bother anyone with it. That was one thing that I felt I was good at, not bothering anyone, hiding within myself and being invisible. My thoughts were that by doing this, I was accepting it and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Living in fear of being seen enough to attract attention, I was creating a life filled with loneliness and deep sadness and I had no idea that I was doing this.
My life brought me to new locations and things were different, however I would step straight back in to my childhood role and feelings, as soon as I would return home again. Managing to stuff these feelings deep within my heart with my own set of armour keeping them firmly in place, until I came back to the area, the people or similar emotions and all the fears, resentment and sadness would return with vengeance. I know now, there had been no processing, no acceptance, no nothing!
Acceptance, Forgiveness and Compassion
It took me a long time to fully understand acceptance, forgiveness and self-compassion all go together. One does not fully happen without the others.
Forgiveness is a subject all on its own. Learning to forgive yourself and others brings so much peace and harmony in your life and yet at times it feels so hard to do. Remembering that forgiveness is not condoning someone’s actions; it is freeing you from holding on to the emotions and suffering surrounding them.
Self-compassion allows you to walk through some of the emotions, resentments, sadness and fears gently, without judging or berating yourself.
Self-compassion allows you to walk through some of the emotions, resentments, sadness and fears gently, without judging or berating yourself. Click To Tweet
And acceptance enables you to truly let go. Without acceptance, its like you are holding on with all your might either in your whole hand or by your finger tips and either way this takes a lot of effort and focus. Undoing this tight grip, relinquishing your focus; just lets the emotions fade away. It’s like it empowers you; giving you confidence deep within.
I still have memories and I can still have sadness when I focus on it. When I go home now, I don’t go with so much trepidation and I don’t step into those childhood patterns anymore. I have begun to recognise the importance or lack of it, each person impacts on me and my life. I have no ill thoughts and simply wish them kindness and wellness.
Till next time
Be gentle with yourself
If you struggle with acceptance, forgiveness or self compassion we offer the following that may help