Mirror mirror on the wall………..
Looking into ourselves is not the easiest thing to do….
Sometimes when I say this, people respond with “I used to find that – but now Im ok with it”
I would like to challenge the fact that this to be an “ok” exercise……
I guess – if you are looking at the surface then probably it is!
However if you are looking at yourself from a point of change….
From a point of shining a torch into those dark shadows – you know, the places that we don’t really like to look at…. hence why we keep them so buried…..
Then this is when I would challenge anyone who says that they are “ok with his now” – because this really serves as an injustice to anyone who is reflecting at those dark places and secondly for me, it just indicates that they are not going to the places that will really catalyst change.
Whats prompted this? Well……….
Its come to that time of year, when lots of people (myself included)
talk about it being the time to tidy and refresh our gardens –
our gardens of life…
to pause, reflect, weed, sow and plant our blossoms….
One of the things that I have really come to realise, is that you can only really go to those dark shadows if you are being kind to yourself – if you are spending time with yourself and being compassionate in the process of this.
As humans, we love to know the ins and outs – we love to know the reasons we feel or act in certain ways – or even why we are unable to bring certain emotions to the surface…… and this is where kindness and self compassion comes in – Sometimes we don’t need to know!
We don’t need to hang on so tightly until we have every answer, analysed and re analysed who what where how why……
Sometimes we just have to accept that this is how it was – no blame, no guilt and no shame…..
and if we then decide it has no benefit in our lives right now – we can gently pluck it out / weed it out and leave it where it came from – in the past.
At other times – this may feel way too big a task right now – and thats ok too.
So although self reflection is important – its not a chance to pull out your old critic or to find that big stick to beat yourself with…..
Its a chance in the first instance to be really gentle and kind to yourself – its a chance to show yourself just how important you are to yourself and give yourself the support (maybe through your friends, self, group or even a coach) love and attention that you need.
I will leave you with that quiet contemplation…..
Maybe journal this week on “How do I really feel” or “What one change would I like to make these coming months” or “How could I be more kind to myself”
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Till next time