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My Wild Heart

What is buried deep inside that is ready to be set free?

What needs to be unleashed to truly step into who I am?  

These are questions that I have often asked myself over the years.

Exploring these questions and even the words “wild heart” in many different ways as enabled me to look  deeper and deeper within my soul. And explored the ways that I have contained myself, to conform and to fit in.  If you have read some of my past stories, you will know that one of my childhood patterns has been to be invisible, to hide, to blend into the background and not be seen.  So to achieve this, there has been many things within me that have been dampened down, not revealed or I have tried to disguise in order to avoid attention.

Memory

One memory was at a café with a few friends and an ex partner.  I remember being in a really good place and feeling quite free. We were chatting and laughing and then something tickled me to a level that created a lovely heart belly laugh. My partner of the time hushed me stating not to be so noisy, that people were looking and that he was embarrassed by my loudness. Very obligingly,  I stopped laughing and with shame retreated inwardly to the quietness and safety of my shell.

When I look back at this story, it saddens me. Just how easily it is to change just to appease others and not to upset the applecart.  How easily you can step into feelings of shame and not worthy when this really is not the truth. I would like to say that this is my only example, but there are many stories that would re affirm me running away and hiding in shame.

Then it got to a day, when I looked back and could not remember when was the last time I had laughed out loud. That was also a significant day.  It was another day that the cries from within were so loud that they could not be ignored. Another opportunity for the depths of my heart to be heard.  It also gave me the nudge, well actually it was a big shove, to look within and find me. When I say find me, I mean to remember my thoughts, my hopes and my dreams. To remember how to even hear the rhythm of my heart and to re connect with what ignites my fire from within.

Coming Home to Mother Earth

Whilst peeling back the layers and letting my truth come alive; I see my wild heart my tribal instinct, my love of nature.  The coming home to mother earth and beating our hearts as one and feeling and knowing how untamed, wild nature can nourish, open and expand my heart. It feels like I am a flower; revealing my wild heart petal-by-petal and returning to it’s magnificence. Connecting in this way is beautiful.

 

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