Autumn for me is always about releasing things we don’t need – having that good old clearout on a physical sense but also on an emotional / soul sense.
This of course got me thinking ( no surprises there!) and getting into discussions around relating topics.
There are many of us that have “go to” stories – you know the one that replays through-out our lives and we revert to when the chips are down and we are feeling vulnerable and afraid….. for me, thats a perfectionist syndrome… the not being good enough so I have to be perfect syndrome…
So getting back to that releasing mode…. I know that I don’t need this in my life – I know this on a head level and a heart level and mostly these days it isn’t there….. except when I feel backed into that corner again….and oh yes – its there!
I am a believer that we do need to feel our emotions – it isn’t simply good enough to tap them or hypno them away or to use an affirmation and pretend they don’t exist – they are there for a reason – and this is all in the process of getting to know yourself and being able to sit in the uncomfortableness of our own expression. It allows us to be truthful with ourselves…. Not an easy process but a rewarding one.
Once we understand what it is that we need to understand – or maybe it is simply an acceptance (acceptance has never been a simply!) I believe that a lot of this dissolves or the strategies that we then use to release become seamless, easy and pain free.
Stepping into an emotion
This is not always easy to do and often needs someone to hold that space for you. It may be a topic that a friend or loved one can be there for you or it may be better to find yourself a coach or mentor that can support you through this journey.
Either way, it is not about skimming across the surface to get to the real reasons, the wisdoms, the insights the knowledge – however and this is a bIG however…. this can be multi layered and what feels deep today, in 6 months time or 6 years time may not…..
As important as it is for us to step into and feel emotion, it can only be done with support, compassion and safety. I always quote the Karen Drucker song at this point – “Only go as fast as the slowest part of you feels safe to do so.”
In other words, be gentle with yourself and let each bit surface and unfold in the way it needs to for you.
One of the first things that you can do for yourself in this process is start developing your own self compassion – Kristen Neff says that by developing our self compassion we become our own inner ally instead of our inner enemy. It is also true that learning to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are enables us to grow the resilience that we need to thrive in challenging times.
To start try writing three words of kindness to yourself each day and repeating them through out the day to yourself. Try this for 7 days and see how you get on.
As always be gentle with yourself
Be Kind, always